Like every other year, there were some real haute messes on Hollywood’s biggest night. As socialites with a little bit of a SOUL, I’ve chosen women whom I think have shown to be better than this. Beautiful, strong women who are multi-talented but…ladies, forget stylists, don’t you at least have friends who will tell you the truth??
Victim #1: Maria Menounos. Incredibly gorgeous girl. Devastating outfit. Tacky hair paired with a tacky dress. And is that hair band made of her own hair? Oh gawd, someone actually put serious effort into this.
Victim #2: Kelly Rowland. After my girl killed it at the Superbowl and at the Grammys, Kelly Rowland commits an epic sartorial fail at the Oscars. I get film ain’t her game but having your hair replicate the shape of your dress – gets a big nuh-uh chiiild! It all looks cheap – the heavy fringe, the plasticky earrings, and even the dress because of everything else. Like the thing on top of her head, it’s all poo poo.
Victim #3: Anne Hathaway. I haven’t been a fan of her selections all awards season but this custom made duchesse satin pink Prada left me out in the cold. And clearly, Anne too. Where shall we start? The only thing miserable was her dress? Les Nipplerables? Gwyneth Paltrow already did pink satin in 99…the era where this dress belonged? Big misstep by stylist Rachel Zoe. Redeeming graces were the stunning Tiffany necklace winding down her back and a graceful best supporting actress acceptance speech.
Victim #4: Ok seriously, who even let this girl on the red carpet? No, why is Olivia Munn at THE OSCARS?? The biggest film she’s been in is Magic Mike….where she was terrible as Channing Tatum’s lying f*ck buddy!! And Marchesa is dressing her? So many questions, so few answers. Yes Olivia is gorgeous and can be funny. This dress though, nothing to laugh about. Next thing you know, she’ll be talking about how she aspires to have a career like Meryl Streep’s.
Victim #5: The least offensive of them all but Jennifer Lawrence, why did you steal my 650 thread count down duvet to wear to the Oscars? You see, I love my duvet is because it’s so huge and fluffy…this becomes a problem when you decide to wear it and you need to climb stairs to collect your Oscar. Alas, you were graceful in bouncing back and had all the reporters Channing-All-Over-Their-Tatums (scroll to 2:30 for reference) in post-show interviews. I have lots to learn.